9:42 p.m. - Monday, Mar. 27, 2006
Life As We Know It
These past few months have been crazy! Moved out of Tualatin and back in with my parents, started looking for another job, and lost my best friend.
I wish someone would have told me that living with friends almost always ruins everything. I would have never gone through with it. It's sad, but I hated almost every minute in that house. I don't know why. He changed. Or maybe we changed. There was one night, one of the first nights we where there, that we fought through text messages. He was so angry. I'd never been near him while he was angry. Usually we had parted by then or in public. But... I listened to him pounding the wall. Maybe punching it. It really scared me. I was afraid he would hurt something other then himself. I wanted to get Gaia and lock the door behind me. Then it all stopped once I said, "We're moving out." After that had said that we should stay here and make it work. A "Business House" he said. He told me "That he's sorry for saying the harsh things he said to me. He was just trying to hurt me anyway possible. He didn't mean it." That was now his excuse for everything he said when we fought. Yeah it hurt, but what bothered me more is that how often he got so mad. It really scared me. I started tiptoeing around him. I didn't feel comfortable talking to him about anything. I didn't want him to yell and hurt me. I used to do that. I stopped trying to hurt everyone. I realized that I do it enough without trying. Fighting isn't something I enjoy doing anymore. I loved it way back when. Knowing that there was going to be fight the next day at school... gave me a rush. Not anymore. Yeah, maybe I like being right, but I'd rather not do it at the expense of fighting.
Now we're fighting the biggest fight of all. Money. No surprise. Everything's always about money. I wish I could just handle it and walk away. I wish I could handle all of my money problems and walk away. However, we're not in a perfect world. Hopefully soon... I'll get to do something great. Move on with my life. End this terrible chapter with the hope of a better one.
In better news! Tom did get a job! And it's at the one place he was hoping for! Michael's! It's a craft store if you've been living in a hole. He's really excited, and he starts tomorrow! I wish I could get a job soon. I keep forgetting how hard getting a job in Salem is compared to Portland! I don't understand why eather! I've turned in at least 20 applications. If not more. I did get one interview at Mervyns, but no dice. I expect it's because I mentioned the fact that I was late a bunch at my last jobs. I learned a valuable lesson!
